Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Under construction
I'm really hoping to get some better organization to my blog format and posts. Stay tuned for a new layout and a new game plan...I'll be making lots of adjustments while I try to find what works best. Thanks for understanding!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
10 things you may not know about toddlers
I'm a big fan of lists. Especially short, funny ones that are full of accurate information. This post is inspired by the hilarious Happily After Giving Birth – 10 Things They Don't Tell You. If you are a mom, or going to be someday, you must read this. It's awesome!
It seems sometimes that giving birth was a million years ago. Reading that blog makes me smile not only because it's funny but because I was so focused on keeping my sweet little baby alive and healthy. Now, all my time is spent trying not to kill my sweet (and naughty) little toddler. Do you see the difference?
Allow me to elaborate by presenting my own list of 10 Things You May Not Know About Toddlers...
1.) They still don't sleep... When you're in the newborn stage, waking up every 2 hours, the only way you (and baby) survive is by convincing yourself that you just have to get through this stage. You tell yourself that in a few short weeks, maybe months, you'll be blissfully sleeping 8 hours a night once again and all will be right in the world. If you're currently residing in this pretty pink bubble, I encourage you to stop reading now because I'm about to pop it. Even as I sit here typing this, I'm EXHAUSTED because my 17 month old was awake for 2 hours straight last night. Do you know what it's like to not sleep for 17 months? Of course, he doesn't wake up every night but the culmination of over a year of broken sleep will make any person insane. I don't mean a little crazy. I mean lock me up in the loony bin before I declare my cat a decent enough caretaker to watch Patrick while I take a nap. You could probably get good sleep in the loony bin though...
2.) They have strong opinions...and demands. They voice these opinions loudly and with no regard for anyone else's comfort or feelings. They don't care if you're grocery shopping, eating dinner at a restaurant or trying to spend some 'alone' time with your spouse. They will feel zero embarrassment about screaming at the top of their lungs until you produce the snack, toy, beverage or activity that they desire. May God help you if you can't understand the screaming toddler jargon and have no idea what it is that they want. You're screwed...
3.) They are born part monkey. I include this in my list because just today I caught my child scaling our rocking chair in order to climb the rails of his crib and flip upside down inside in order to retrieve his binky that is only allowed during sleep times. He also finds it incredibly funny to wait until you are in the kitchen making dinner to climb onto the coffee table, stand up and start dancing. I am less than amused. This is not a skill that is taught. They are born somehow knowing exactly the most dangerous activities that will cause your hair to go grey the fastest...
4.) They understand what the word 'no' means. They don't care... If they have an aching desire to dump every blanket from the basket for the 10,000th time that day, they're gonna do it. All while repeating the word 'no' over and over. They also learn how to say 'no'. Emphatically. If they don't want to do something, it's not happening. No amount of airplane spoons will convince my child that eating his carrots is in fact a good idea if he doesn't feel like it at the moment. His wail of the word 'no' generally coincides with a shrill scream that would make anyone within earshot assume that I'm trying to set him on fire when I'm actually just trying to wipe his face after dinner.
5.) They will be fascinated by their, ummm body parts. It's adorable when your child learns to identify their nose, toes, hair, belly etc. It's also incredibly hilarious when your son immediately escapes the moment you take his diaper off and starts running through the living room with a firm grasp on his penis. At least, I think it's hilarious. Penis, vagina, pee pee, hoo hoo, bottom, booty, what ever you're going to call it, I encourage you to figure it out now because a conversation about their 'private' parts is coming sooner than you think.
6.) Speaking of wiping their face, they hate it. With a fiery passion. Toddlers have zero issue with refried beans plastered into their eyebrows and green snot dripping from their nose. Snot is a very important part of a toddler's life. They are perfectly fine with smearing it across their face and continuing in their activities. No wiping necessary. Toddlers are disgusting human beings...
7.) You will not always like them. Of course, you will ALWAYS love your child unconditionally but there will be days in which you will not like them one bit. You will wonder what on earth you were thinking when you thought procreating was such a great idea. You will feel a great deal of unyielding guilt for feeling this way and attempt to compensate by offering ice cream for dinner. Guilt is an important part of parenting. For better or worse, many of your parenting days are spent feeling terrible about yourself for the reactions you've had toward your toddler's perfectly normal and expected behavior. Cut yourself some slack. Everyone has bad days at their job and parenting is the hardest job on the planet. (Don't attempt to challenge me on this statement. I will cut you.)
8.) They change their likes and dislikes on a daily basis. In our house, this rule generally applies to food. Your toddler gobbling up 3 helpings of your delicious homemade chicken and rice last night is in no way an implication that he will eat the same meal again. Ever. BUT, he may eat it again next week. Or the week after that. I assure you that this behavior is beyond maddening. Especially if you are like me and constantly worried that your child is getting the proper nourishment.
9.) The smells that they produce will make you wish you lived closer to a cattle ranch so you could go outside and get some "fresh" air. Now, Patrick never had formula so I really can't attest to what a formula fed baby's poop smells like but breast milk poop is great. Yes, I just said poop is great. It smells like popcorn. I realize this is an odd observation but it's true. Toddler poop on the other hand is just plain nasty. I know that seems obvious, but trust me when I say you will be surprised by what your sweet little child is able to produce.
10.) Toddlers give the best hugs and kisses in the world. Even if they're covered in green snot when your child walks up to you and puckers their tiny little lips for a smooch, your heart will melt. When they wrap their chubby little arms around your neck because they're scared, tired, or sick and squeeze you tight, you will feel that all is right in the world. You are doing something right if your child looks to you for security and comfort. Toddlers are also incredibly in tune with you and your moods. The same hugs that bring him comfort will instantly improve any insecurities you're having also. Hugs and kisses cure everything...
For those of you with toddlers, I encourage you to add anything I may have forgotten. For those that have toddler hood in your horizon, I encourage you to bookmark this post and look back on it from time to time. Don't say I didn't warn you:)
It seems sometimes that giving birth was a million years ago. Reading that blog makes me smile not only because it's funny but because I was so focused on keeping my sweet little baby alive and healthy. Now, all my time is spent trying not to kill my sweet (and naughty) little toddler. Do you see the difference?
Allow me to elaborate by presenting my own list of 10 Things You May Not Know About Toddlers...
1.) They still don't sleep... When you're in the newborn stage, waking up every 2 hours, the only way you (and baby) survive is by convincing yourself that you just have to get through this stage. You tell yourself that in a few short weeks, maybe months, you'll be blissfully sleeping 8 hours a night once again and all will be right in the world. If you're currently residing in this pretty pink bubble, I encourage you to stop reading now because I'm about to pop it. Even as I sit here typing this, I'm EXHAUSTED because my 17 month old was awake for 2 hours straight last night. Do you know what it's like to not sleep for 17 months? Of course, he doesn't wake up every night but the culmination of over a year of broken sleep will make any person insane. I don't mean a little crazy. I mean lock me up in the loony bin before I declare my cat a decent enough caretaker to watch Patrick while I take a nap. You could probably get good sleep in the loony bin though...
2.) They have strong opinions...and demands. They voice these opinions loudly and with no regard for anyone else's comfort or feelings. They don't care if you're grocery shopping, eating dinner at a restaurant or trying to spend some 'alone' time with your spouse. They will feel zero embarrassment about screaming at the top of their lungs until you produce the snack, toy, beverage or activity that they desire. May God help you if you can't understand the screaming toddler jargon and have no idea what it is that they want. You're screwed...
3.) They are born part monkey. I include this in my list because just today I caught my child scaling our rocking chair in order to climb the rails of his crib and flip upside down inside in order to retrieve his binky that is only allowed during sleep times. He also finds it incredibly funny to wait until you are in the kitchen making dinner to climb onto the coffee table, stand up and start dancing. I am less than amused. This is not a skill that is taught. They are born somehow knowing exactly the most dangerous activities that will cause your hair to go grey the fastest...
4.) They understand what the word 'no' means. They don't care... If they have an aching desire to dump every blanket from the basket for the 10,000th time that day, they're gonna do it. All while repeating the word 'no' over and over. They also learn how to say 'no'. Emphatically. If they don't want to do something, it's not happening. No amount of airplane spoons will convince my child that eating his carrots is in fact a good idea if he doesn't feel like it at the moment. His wail of the word 'no' generally coincides with a shrill scream that would make anyone within earshot assume that I'm trying to set him on fire when I'm actually just trying to wipe his face after dinner.
5.) They will be fascinated by their, ummm body parts. It's adorable when your child learns to identify their nose, toes, hair, belly etc. It's also incredibly hilarious when your son immediately escapes the moment you take his diaper off and starts running through the living room with a firm grasp on his penis. At least, I think it's hilarious. Penis, vagina, pee pee, hoo hoo, bottom, booty, what ever you're going to call it, I encourage you to figure it out now because a conversation about their 'private' parts is coming sooner than you think.
6.) Speaking of wiping their face, they hate it. With a fiery passion. Toddlers have zero issue with refried beans plastered into their eyebrows and green snot dripping from their nose. Snot is a very important part of a toddler's life. They are perfectly fine with smearing it across their face and continuing in their activities. No wiping necessary. Toddlers are disgusting human beings...
7.) You will not always like them. Of course, you will ALWAYS love your child unconditionally but there will be days in which you will not like them one bit. You will wonder what on earth you were thinking when you thought procreating was such a great idea. You will feel a great deal of unyielding guilt for feeling this way and attempt to compensate by offering ice cream for dinner. Guilt is an important part of parenting. For better or worse, many of your parenting days are spent feeling terrible about yourself for the reactions you've had toward your toddler's perfectly normal and expected behavior. Cut yourself some slack. Everyone has bad days at their job and parenting is the hardest job on the planet. (Don't attempt to challenge me on this statement. I will cut you.)
8.) They change their likes and dislikes on a daily basis. In our house, this rule generally applies to food. Your toddler gobbling up 3 helpings of your delicious homemade chicken and rice last night is in no way an implication that he will eat the same meal again. Ever. BUT, he may eat it again next week. Or the week after that. I assure you that this behavior is beyond maddening. Especially if you are like me and constantly worried that your child is getting the proper nourishment.
9.) The smells that they produce will make you wish you lived closer to a cattle ranch so you could go outside and get some "fresh" air. Now, Patrick never had formula so I really can't attest to what a formula fed baby's poop smells like but breast milk poop is great. Yes, I just said poop is great. It smells like popcorn. I realize this is an odd observation but it's true. Toddler poop on the other hand is just plain nasty. I know that seems obvious, but trust me when I say you will be surprised by what your sweet little child is able to produce.
10.) Toddlers give the best hugs and kisses in the world. Even if they're covered in green snot when your child walks up to you and puckers their tiny little lips for a smooch, your heart will melt. When they wrap their chubby little arms around your neck because they're scared, tired, or sick and squeeze you tight, you will feel that all is right in the world. You are doing something right if your child looks to you for security and comfort. Toddlers are also incredibly in tune with you and your moods. The same hugs that bring him comfort will instantly improve any insecurities you're having also. Hugs and kisses cure everything...
For those of you with toddlers, I encourage you to add anything I may have forgotten. For those that have toddler hood in your horizon, I encourage you to bookmark this post and look back on it from time to time. Don't say I didn't warn you:)
Friday, March 9, 2012
Can't i just stay unemployed?
Time flies when you're havin fun? I don't know that I'd call job hunting fun, but it's been keeping me occupied. Not to mention the busy little man who demands just about 100% of my attention during all waking hours. That part IS fun. (almost all the time ;)
Why isn't there a job on Career Builder (or any job search site, I'm not picky) that states 'This job is perfect for you. The hours are exactly what you're looking for. The pay and benefits are great. You will enjoy doing this for the foreseeable future. And you're perfectly qualified for the position' ??? Where is this job? It's not that there aren't jobs to apply to. I'm just not sure I want to do any of those jobs.
I'm so envious of the people in my life that know exactly what they want to do. Their dream job. Even if their dream never comes into fruition, at least they can recognize the end of the rainbow. I have no idea what my dream job consists of. I know I'm passionate about finance and money but it's a big field! If anybody out there knows what I should be doing with my life, please, fill me in.
I was pretty far along in the hiring process with a reputable organization when I decided it just wasn't the right fit for me. It's so discouraging to waste time and energy getting excited about a possibility only to determine that it may not be the dream you thought it was. Not to mention the constant self doubt and second guessing that comes with any life altering decision. Did I make the right choice in bowing out of this? (they were totally gonna hire me) Huge mistake? Only time will tell...
All I can do is trust my instincts, keep an open mind and continue to be thankful that I have, a loving partner who supports me in every decision that I make for myself and our family.
Why isn't there a job on Career Builder (or any job search site, I'm not picky) that states 'This job is perfect for you. The hours are exactly what you're looking for. The pay and benefits are great. You will enjoy doing this for the foreseeable future. And you're perfectly qualified for the position' ??? Where is this job? It's not that there aren't jobs to apply to. I'm just not sure I want to do any of those jobs.
I'm so envious of the people in my life that know exactly what they want to do. Their dream job. Even if their dream never comes into fruition, at least they can recognize the end of the rainbow. I have no idea what my dream job consists of. I know I'm passionate about finance and money but it's a big field! If anybody out there knows what I should be doing with my life, please, fill me in.
I was pretty far along in the hiring process with a reputable organization when I decided it just wasn't the right fit for me. It's so discouraging to waste time and energy getting excited about a possibility only to determine that it may not be the dream you thought it was. Not to mention the constant self doubt and second guessing that comes with any life altering decision. Did I make the right choice in bowing out of this? (they were totally gonna hire me) Huge mistake? Only time will tell...
All I can do is trust my instincts, keep an open mind and continue to be thankful that I have, a loving partner who supports me in every decision that I make for myself and our family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)